Just This Moment

This moment.  So much gratitude for this quiet, unexpected, peace-filled moment.  Sitting in the rocker with my daughter.  Her long limbs – usually in constant motion – curled up softly in my lap, so still.  Her mass of slightly damp red curls nuzzled under my chin.  Inhaaaaale … the inside of my nose is filled with the aroma of “no more tears.”  No tears.  No fighting.  No struggling.  No words.  Just her breath.  And my breath.  And I am present.

Breathe in.

And so happy.

Breathe out.

I am here.

Breathe in.

Just here.

Breathe out.

Just don’t forget to return those library books tomorrow.

Breathe in.

And that bulletin article.

Out.

Oy, that article.  What I am going to write about?  Does anyone even read the ….

She stirs on my lap.  She is too big to find comfort in the crook of my arm for much more than a moment.  I know that.  And I squandered this time with inconsequential thoughts of tomorrow.  And just like that, my present is gone.  My happiness is gone.  Replaced by anger … frustration … disappointment for what’s been lost.

I need to forgive myself my wanderings.  I need a break from a judging mind.  I need just enough strength and humility to return to my breath, my intent, my present … again … and again … and again … and again … and again.